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Christmas Morning with Patrick and Abby

My name is Kayann and I’ve been a long distance grandma for 15 years.  My late son Dave’s kids live in Belgium, and my daughter Becky and her family live in Oregon.  I live in Missouri.  Staying close and connected to my grandkids is a passion for me.  I’ve learned that it is possible to maintain that priceless bond over long distances and for many years.    Over the years I’ve discovered some ways to bond with and stay very close to my grandkids,  and I really wanted to share them with other long distance grandmas and grandpas.  That’s why I wrote an e-book called ”Love Across the Miles: How to Stay Close to Long Distance Grandchildren.”  It’s available now on the Amazon Kindle and Smashwords (Love Across the Miles: How to Stay Close to Long Distance Grandchildren) for only $.99 and more e-readers soon.  The book will cover:

1. Various communication options and how to make the most of them
2.  How to make lasting connections
3.  How to keep the peace with children and their spouses
4.  Travel tips
5.  Visits to grandchildren
6.  Grandchildren’s visits to you
7.  Taking care of yourself, and
8.  Why grandchildren and grandparents need each other so much.

I’ve written for newspapers, and online and print magazines, but I confess that this is my first book attempt.  It grew from a passion to help grandparents who feel like strangers to their distant grandchildren.  I would appreciate any feedback (good or bad) to help me improve it and do better next time.  If you find some new ideas or inspirations in the book, I hope you’ll let me know.  I hope we can continue the conversation about grandparenting from a distance right here.  Reviews on Amazon are also appreciated.

Thanks for reading!

Conversations With My Grandson

Telephone conversations with my grandson Patrick are always the highlight of any day.  He calls to talk over things that interest or excite him, and I love to hear about them.  He called last night to ask me if I had ever heard the song about the Red Red Robin.  I told him I had and we ended up singing it together and laughing over the forgotten words and ones we made up.  His class is putting on a play about colors, and he’s singing that song.

Then we both got on our computers to check out the Octo Cam at the Hatfield Science Center in Oregon where he lives.  If you’ve read my book you might remember that he is fascinated by the ocean and all of its creatures.  He regularly checks in on Pearl the giant Pacific octopus in her tank at the center.  Last night she must have been sleeping because we didn’t see her.  If you’d like to see her with your grandkids she is at http://hmsc.oregonstate.edu/visitor/octocam.  Next we checked out a Penguin Cam at Seaworld in San Diego.  Some of the penguins were wobbling around and honking at each other.

Before he had to hit the sack he read me some fascinating facts from his book of world records.  I heard about the world’s longest fingernails,

Looking for Sea Critters

which his mom said looked like curly fries, along with the longest leg hair and a tongue that reaches below the chin.

Sometimes I wish he could stay nine for a few more years.  Have you noticed that nine is a wonderful age for boys?

How to Make the Most of Those Precious Visits to Faraway Grandkids

I vividly remember my very first visit to my son’s children after they moved to Tennessee and were finally within driving distance.  The two older girls were outside playing as my car turned the corner and pulled into their driveway.  They ran towards the car yelling “grandma, grandma” and jumping up and down.  They hadn’t seen me in a year, and their then three year-old brother got caught up in the frenzy and joined in the joyous celebration of grandma’s arrival.  As I got out of the car, he came over and looked at me very seriously and asked, “Who are you?”  Things have changed since then.  On a recent visit, he hid my suitcase on the day I was scheduled to leave.  He hid it very well too.

Who Are You?

I always enjoy walks with my Oregon grandson to a small park a few blocks from their home when I visit.  We go when his little sister is sleeping for some important one-on-one time.  The park has a small stream running through it.  We have spent hours looking for creek creatures or moving rocks and twigs out of the way so the stream could freely flow.  We make dams so it pools up.  We dig through the mud and turn over rocks.

Take nature hikes with a bug catcher and bring along insect, bird, or wildflower guides.  See how many flowers and insects you can identify.  http://www.hearthsong.com is a great source for gifts for young nature lovers and scientists.

Silly songs are always a hit with the 3-5 year-olds.  With the right silly song you can convince a stubborn little one to do almost anything.  One grandson refused to put his underpants on when I was taking care of him for a few days.  “Where oh where did my underwear go” did the trick.  He laughed so hard he didn’t even notice that I slipped his shorts on him.  Distraction is key when dealing with crabby kids.

Before your visit ends, write short notes on 3×5 cards and hide them around the house for the kids to find after you leave.

It’s often the simple things that form the strongest bonds.  Make the most of what may be infrequent visits to grandchildren.

Connect With Long Distance Grandkids By Keeping Up With Their Passions and Interests

Angry Birds (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One grandson calls me often.  We talk about whatever is on his mind (tadpoles for the pond, purple crabs, frogs at Yankee Stadium), or we sometimes play a video game called Angry Birds.  It can be played on a smart phone, ipad, Kindle and other devices.  Red, yellow, blue, and black birds, each with special powers, are launched from a slingshot to wipe out the evil green pigs who have stolen their eggs.

It may sound silly, but something as simple as a video game can bridge the generation gap between a six year old and a sixty year old in record time.  Also, it’s fun and not too hard for those of us who are video game challenged.  He calls me because I can make the time to listen to everything he has to say, and I’m always interested.  When your grandkids discover that about you, the bonding begins.  Grandparents who are willing to enter into the worlds of their grandchildren, whether by books, music, games, movies, art, technology, snakes frogs lizards, or Ninjago Legos, will find themselves with plenty of topics for conversation and opportunities for connection wherever they live.  Those calls are always the brightest spots in any day.”

I actually love to play Angry Birds.

Love Across the Miles: How to Stay Close to Long Distance Grandchildren Now Available on the Amazon Kindle and Smashwords

Love Across the Miles is all about forming loving and lasting bonds with grandchildren who live across the state, country, or world.  There’s absolutely no need to miss out on the joys of grandparenting just because your grandkids aren’t within shouting distance.  With a little creativity and a whole bunch of love you can enjoy a vital role in your grandkids lives.

Learn creative ways to communicate and connect.  Find suggestions on how to keep the peace with in-laws and out-laws. Discover how to make the most of your visits to them and their visits to you.  Find travel tips for getting the best travel deals.  Reach back and remember the things that enchanted you as a child, and don’t be afraid to return to that world, especially with younger children.  Enter your second childhood and love every minute of it.

Love is available now for only $.99 on the Amazon Kindle and Smashwords (Love Across the Miles: How to Stay Close to Long Distance Grandchildren) e-readers.  It will soon be available on the Nook and ibook.  I would love to receive feedback on the book and continue the conversation here.

Thanks!

Travel Tips for Long Distance Grandparents – An Excerpt From the Book “Love Across the Miles: How to Stay Close to Long Distance Grandchildren”

Unfortunately, the cost of travel has become out of many older American’s reach.  Gas prices and airfares have soared in the past couple of years.  I can’t visit my grandchildren without planning and saving far in advance.

There’s not much to be done about gas prices, but there are steps you can take to make sure you take advantage of the best airfare deals available.

Sign up for airfare alerts by e-mail with airfare search and listing sites, http://www.travelocity.com http://www.hotwire.com, and http://www.airfarewatchdog.com to name only a few.  Try Kayak, Expedia, and Orbitz.  These sites will send you e-mails with special deals, and Travelocity will send you e-mails when fares to your cities go up or down by a specified amount.  Sign up for your destination cities and check your e-mail for updates.  Also, vacation packages including hotels are sometimes less expensive than airfare alone.

Related articles

• Rising fuel prices will alter travel plans, survey finds (travel.usatoday.com)

Keeping the Peace with Children and Their Spouses

From fifteen years of experience as a faraway grandma, I’ve learned that keeping the peace with my kids and their spouses makes staying close to my grandchildren both exciting and a pure pleasure.  Love Across the Miles includes important suggestions about keeping the peace with adult children and their spouses:

1.  Let go of your expectations.  You live your life and your children and their spouses live theirs.  You may not approve of their life choices, but they are adults and are free to make them.  Learn to accept.

2.  Don’t wear out your welcome. Even at a distance it’s possible to do it.  Sending too many gifts, offering too much advice, visiting too often, etc., etc.  Respect your children and their spouses, and you are much more apt to be welcomed into their homes with open arms.

3.  Don’t expect to be waited on when you visit your children.  Pitch in and help (without criticism or complaint) wherever you can

4.  Avoid gift-giving wars and other rivalries with the other set of grandparents.

Read more suggestions about maintaining good relationships with adult children and their spouses.  A peaceful, friendly relationship with your grandkids’ mom and dad will make connecting and bonding with your faraway grandchildren much simpler and more rewarding.